It just seems like when one thing goes wrong, everything has to snowball at once, know what I mean?
I really can't understand what happened with my niece, Yivie.
And no, I don't feel threatened by Yivie. It isn't that at all. I'm just continuously sad, angry and hurt as I thought we had a relationship that meant something, and I was so obviously WRONG, way wrong.
I'm still stunned at the betrayal as she is absolutely the LAST person I would have suspected of suddenly doing an about face and basically stabbing me in the back. And the rumors and lies she's perpetrated! Good God almighty!
What's even sadder is Ron, the step-uncle who loved Yivie as one of his own, but had no obligation whatsoever to do so now refuses to be alone with said niece as he's afraid she'll spread lies of slander against him, and start calling him a rapist or something. Who knows after what she's said about me?
I think if she wanted to effectively end our relationship and support she accomplished the deed as at this point that trust that was once there is broken.
One thing I'd like to say as a side note directly to my niece (and yes, sweetie, I know you still read my blog even though you're using a computer elsewhere than your home to do so. There's only ONE person up in KC that reads my blog, and I know her ISP, so I know when the other is you, particuarly when the ISP is registered to areas of people and places I know you associate with):
So, since you told me to leave you alone and never contact you again, yet you insist in following ME around still via internet (I have nothing to hide you know, you're more than welcome) I think your request for me not to write to or about you on my blog is nil.
You're coming to me, you know?
Why insist I never contact you again or speak of you or to you again if you won't let me alone?
You can have it your way and follow me about on the internet if you like. Heck, you can sign up an account at my medical support sight and I'd never know, would I? You can pose as whomever you like and search for all the info you like. There's nothing to find, no dirt to be had. Go for it girlie. Google my name and acronyms. You'll find me. It's not hard.
This is a public blog by my own choosing, it makes it easier for my friends (or enemies I suppose if I must have those too) to reach me. Yes, I COULD make it private where you could never read here again, but yes, you can come here. I don't mind. I'm not locking you out. I never have. I'm consistent, you know that about me. I've always been here for you, and even now, if only for your need to spy on me. LOL.
I'm not the one who caused the friction or stabbed you in the back, you know?.I'm not who told you I was done with you, then followed you about on the internet trying to read what you wrote. I'm not the one who didn't come to your graduation. I'm not the one who wasn't there when you cried, when your car broke down, or when you needed to move out of an apartment 3 stories up during an ice storm in December. No, I was the one right by your side, as I've always been willing to be. And, I'm still here, even if it's only for you to spy on me. That's family, sweetie. Your real family is there whether you like it or not. Some day you'll grow up enough to get that lesson.
I've never threatened you or hurt you, yet YOU attacked me, or tried, to my daughter. How would you take it if you'd raised Jack for 18 years, and some newcomer tried to butt into your relationship with him? Do you think it would work? Christy has been my child for 18 years, dearie. She's had a stable home life and deep down she knows who she trusts. That's why she's home and not listening to your slander or lies.
I was told by my daughter that you, Yivie, called your mother to confirm these lies you were trying to spread, (and my daughter was already emotionally distraught at the time...way to go ace).
My niece was telling my daughter that I'd lied to her all her life, that her dad really wasn't her dad, and that her mother (my ex-sister-in-law who hasn't been around me since I was 14 or 15 years of age) would verify such. As if she could.
What ridiculous crap.
I have to wonder why you, my niece, ever thought your mother would know anything about my life to confirm?
I would be inclined to ask your mother (who obviously wouldn't have the guts to speak to me or try to slander me in person) where in the world she was in June of 1989 when Christy was conceived as I KNOW she was NOT living in Kansas City where I was, so how in the hell would she know WHO I slept with or who was or wasn't my child's father?
At that point I hadn't seen your mother for at least 3 years, maybe 4. I think you were living in Indiana at that point, but I'm not sure. It could have been Illinois. Damned if I really know. It's not like we had contact, and THAT my dear is the point, isn't it?
Neice, where the hell were your nomadic parents living when you were, oh, seven years old? And, how would you or your mother confirm any of these lies about Christy's parentage when at that time we had no contact? How did your mother know what on earth I was or wasn't doing or whom I might or might not be sleeping with? Is your mother professing to be psychic now?
Furthermore, considering neither my ex, his family, his brothers or any of the extended relations in my family or his who WERE present in my life at the time, including my vast plethera of Cassie's relations...have ever questioned the matter, AND my ex was willing to go more than $20,000 in the hole on child support that he still owes to this day...why wouldn't HE be the first to question her parentage if indeed there were a question regarding it?
Why would he risk going to prison over said child support debt rather than state she wasn't his child...uh huh...any man would do THAT *rolling eyes*....considering all of that, how likely do you believe you are to prove your lies and slander? I have no doubt he could be supeoned to testify and counter your lies if it were relevant enough to go to court, but considering our child is grown by American laws, well, I don't see that happening either.
And, you know, there's the fact that my ex's own brother moved down here to podunk to be near us, the kids and I, AND my husband, after his parents died of cancer because I've been so evil jerking him and his family around for years. *rolling eyes once again* That's why him and his mate come by my house, bring their baby over, and consider me family since his folks are gone, you know, because my kids ARE his family and it seems he and I are destined to be family for life (Who knew?). DUH.
I mean, THAT guy, my ex-brother-in-law, well, he'd be one to know the truth from these ridiculous lies.
He and I grew up together (unlike myself and your oh-so-knowledgeable mother) and he and I have known one another since he was nine and I was twelve when my girl friend and I threw rocks at him for being mouthy. He followed me around plaguing me after that and has never let me alone since. He was always my tag-along through the years. Eventually I liked the mouthy little brat. Trust me when I say if anyone knows all my sins, that little brother-in-law would. And he stands by me 100%.
I mean, really, what kind of ex or his family does that? Please. Would your ex's family do the same for you and your ex if they thought Jack wasn't his?
My ex's mother would never have put up with any crap from me, trust me on that one. You'd have to have known that fiesty tiny woman. She used to call me brat and threaten me with a broom on occasion, but honestly, if I were screwing her son over, would she also have stood by me all those years, even let me and the kids live with her while the ex and I were separating until I got on my feet?
His parents stood by me and threatened to kick his butt, their own son, if he didn't straighten up and do right by his family. Did your clairvoyant mother know that bit too?
My ex would so out me if he could get out of that debt. His parents are dead now, he could do so and they'd never know. His mom can't chase him with a broom anymore. He doesn't though. Why do you think that is? I mean, he is still under that child support debt.
What man willingly risks going to prison for child support if the kid isn't his?
I didn't send him to prison, and wouldn't as it wasn't best for him not to be around just so I could have some cash. And, he definitely couldn't have contributed in prison either. I figured he could explain his lack of involvement himself, but he wasn't going to blame ME for his not being locked up. I wasn't going to give him that out.
So, logically, how likely would it be that his family would all lie for me and we'd have such close relations over the years if I'd slept around on their brother/son?
What I want to know is who dreamt up that lie to slander me, and for what purpose?
What I did or didn't do at the age of nineteen when I conceived my daughter is hardly relevant to anyone beyond my children at this point, and what purpose does it serve to try to confuse and hurt my daughter, or make her believe her entire life is a lie?
And you say you want to HELP her?
It's an odd kind of help when you viciously attack all she's known, both of her parents and their credibility, and of course, her dead grandparents and uncles with your stupid little slander. Did you stop to think that if I'd lied to her then all of the family she holds close and loves had to have lied to her too? Did it occur to you how that would make her feel, and how deeply that would cut her?
It doesn't hurt me (as I assume was your goal...even though we had sent someone out to check out your air for you the day before and you didn't even pay him enough to cover his gas out there) who is or isn't her father as I don't give a damn honestly. Being with him was a mistake in my past that would be easier to deny as he definitely wasn't a keeper worth bragging about.
What DOES hit me in this is that I am strongly angered at YOUR behavior, niece, and your lack of consideration for my daughter's feelings and needs at this time. That definitely wasn't nurturing of you.
Yet somehow in your twisted logic you think it would be best for her to live with you? Hah. Uh-huh, because somehow her mom is a liar. Whatever.
You thinks it's best for you to control her exclusively because you need child care, NOT because you have my daughter's best interests at heart. And I won't stand down so that you can twist her mind, hurt her more, and turn her against the only support and love she's ever known. I won't allow you to take her away from her comfort zone, or get her to run from her problems.
Yeah, I realise that at 23 you suddenly know it all, and suddenly know what's best for MY daughter. I'm tellin' ya missy, I've been her mother for 18 years now, and I'm not stepping down at your say so.
The thing is if you continue spouting your lies and crap, particuarly if affects me in any legal way, or in any relationship with my grandson I have to say I'll do what I have to to stand by my daughter and grandson, even if that were to mean taking someone to court for slander.
My advice would be anyone spreading slander of that sort had better have verifiable proof that beats my ex's testimony, his family and my family's testimony, as well as the birth certificate and DNA. One might want to think on that one before perpetrating more lies.
When it comes to my own, my children, I won't back down. I've raised my daughter all these years, nursed her through colic and all that jazz, no way am I giving up on her now. A mother doesn't walk off or allow that kind of interference by just rolling over and taking it.
Niece, you need to consider the fact that all you have to back up your lies is the word and testimony of a bitter, bipolar Aunt who initiated the lies and lives in her own head with whatever she tells herself to be true, and a mother, yours, who wasn't present to know what's she's talking about, but who likes to take a stab at her ex's family as much as possible.
As if it's my fault she chose a rotten husband who I happened to have the misfortune of being related to.
Niece, you need to realize if you want to slander me or insert yourself in a situation between me and MY child that you won't have one single person other than your verifiably absent mother who couldn't be bothered to attend your college graduation (although I did, didn't I?) and a mentally umm? diagnosed Aunt (who also couldn't be bothered with your college graduation) to vouch for your slander, with not one iota of documentation or proof. You really need to think on those things.
Just words for thought. And now I'm done with addressing you as I know you're not really reading or following me about on the internet *snicker* as you want nothing more to do with me. It's just coincidental that your ISP's come up. Un-huh.
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I am angry with my niece, I admit that. I'm hurt too, but mainly, I'm just baffled by her sudden behavior toward me, and her high-and-mighty change of attitude toward me when just a week or two before this when she didn't know where Christy was anymore than I did and SHE wanted to file for guardianship of Evan, and move him to her own podunk locale because she's always wanted more kids but can't seem to get married, and she stated that since I'm "sick" and she makes more money, she was more "qualified". She thought she was a better candidate. Uh-huh. Whatever.
My niece, who is only a second cousin to Evan, and whom had never even met the child, and only knew about him or the situation from what I had expressed as concerns is suddenly more fit to make decisions for MY daughter and grandson that I? I don't think so.
Since Yivie was 15 and Christy was 12 they've only really interacted the one week Christy spent at Yivie's to babysit. Yes, to fill a need for Yivie, not the other way around. It wasn't as a mission to help my daughter. I might also add that Yivie failed to even pay my daughter for that week of child care.
Of course, who wouldn't want to coerce a young mother in need to become one's free, live-in nanny?
It's not as if the two girls even knew one another that well although they were cousins. Christy was always busy with her friends or gone when Yivie came around, you know? Yivie used to always complain how she didn't think my girls liked her as they never wanted to talk to her or hang out with her, and when she tried calling them they'd never return her calls or answer their phones. They just weren't interested in a relationship with her and she said it kind of hurt her, you know?
I'm trying to think...but if I'm not mistaken Yivie wasn't around in my life prior to Cassie's wedding...so...I'm thinking she's only been involved with me and this part of the family for about two years or so now? Like her parents, she remained in hinding from the family prior to that. I'm sure at her Mother's influence.
Prior to that I hadn't seen Yivie since she was 15 and lived with us those 6 weeks before my brother nabbed her and locked her in that Nazi boarding school....before that I hadn't seen her since she was 9, then before that I want to say she was about 18 months when I'd saw her last, you know? Considering the number of times we saw one another over the years at very brief intervals due to her parents' nomadic nature I'd have to say she would be one of the LAST people to have any knowledge or authority on info of what I have or haven't done with my life.
It's not as if my niece has been a continuous person in our lives through the years, or even a continuous member of the family. We've tried to welcome her in, but...well...maybe she's more like her parents than I realized. I dunno.
Years ago my parents would help her parents, then her parents would stab them in the back, talk bad about my parents, and disappear...then reappear a few years later with another crisis and repeat the pattern. It went round robin until I think my folks just gave up even bothering and basically disowned my brother.
You know, when Tiff, my niece's sister, was living with me with her two kids I know she once commented how she felt like I owed her and her kids anyway because of what her dad had done to them.
I kind of take offense to that as I was 9 years old when I became her Aunt, so what in the hell did she think a 9 year old should have done about her father's decisions and choices? Her dad is almost 11 years my senior, you know? I was 5 years old when he left home. I didn't know him myself. I mean, that would be like Evan blaming Ben for his life circumstances.
I sometimes wonder if Yivie doesn't feel the same, that I "owe" her or something because her dad is a schmuck and related to me. I didn't choose him. He was born long before me.
I wonder if she understands applying that theory to life would mean that SHE, my niece, owes all of her siblings children if her siblings are schmucks to their kids? I mean, if I'm 11 years younger than my brother, he had kids when I was 9, and I was somehow responsible by 3rd grade for how that grown man treated those kids because I'm unfortunate enough to be related to this person I barely knew...well then, sure....I guess at least Yivie is grown so she can be responsible for all her neices, nephews, and all the actions of their parents too.
