Happy Holidays Everyone!

I've been busy of late with the semester ending at work, new schedules to put out & things to wrap up, and then at home the holidays and such. 

I hope everyone else is busy and happy, and I hope to catch up with everyone soon. 

What one will do for the grands is amazing.

Still workin' on daughter #2's home owner's insurance issue....

I think we may have FINALLY got it resolved today.

I'm so very fed up with this.

They also let their home owner's insurance lapse

We're going to have to do something different. Financially we simply cannot afford to keep this up. Ron and I don't make enough money to support two separate households.

The company that holds the note on daughter #2's house just called because the home owner's insurance on the house was cancelled due to non-payment on Nov. 18th.

I'm absolutely going to KILL these kids.

The annual insurance is $481 which yes, can be paid off in two payments if one calls the insurance agent and makes arrangements. They didn't. Obviously they ignored their statements & billing. They just let it go I guess assuming we wouldn't find out?

I don't see how Ron and I are going to come up with $481 to have her home owner's re-instated, $250 for her house payment, and the $400 for her property taxes on her house all before Dec. 31st. This is so friggin' unfair I could just cry.

Merry Christmas to us, hmmm?

Daughter #2 and the house

So, yesterday Ron tells me he finally called Christy to ask her when they plan to start picking up their house payment. I mean, really. They don't even try. If it weren't for our two grandsons there's no way in hades this would keep going on. It's been a year now! I'm just relieved their utilities aren't in our name as well.

Ron of course chickened out of what he really intended to say to her. He's too soft and he's absolutely no better than I am at this hard-*ss stuff. He did what I always do: listened to her lip service about how she'll start looking for a job as soon as she's finished her post-partum period (and what CAN a man say to that?).

Christy also mentioned how Drew only had 3 days of work last week so they've been unable to do anything more than buy formula, diapers and pay utilities. *sigh* We get that it's like that all over. We honestly do. The economy is tanked, and yes, families have to pull together more than ever to pool resources.

That said, when one person's job is on the rocks or otherwise work is unsteady what my generation would do is strongly push for the 2nd adult person of the family to get a job. It seems like common sense to Ron and I. The burden (in our opinion) shouldn't completely fall on Drew. Where is Christy's responsibility in this?

I don't buy the whole she has young children/is a mom and that's why she should be excluded from the work force. It that's the case she should also be independently wealthy, or at least have a man who can afford to support that lifestyle choice. She isn't and doesn't. So, why is it okay for ME to work to support her, but not  okay for herself? What makes her so much better than her ol' mom that she feels entitled to be supported indefinitely and never dirty her hands with the stress and daily grind everyone else endures?

Ron told me he greatly regrets buying this house to put her in as if we don't make the payments it'll tank our credit. We can't NOT make the house payment just because she and Drew refuse to be bothered with such.

Ron also commented to me how it really isn't fair that one out of our 6 kids gets this much of a piece of our wallet after being "grown". I agree, but what is one going to do about it? Kick our grandsons out on the street? Have them come live with us?

Ron actually called the bank holding the note (we bought it in a foreclosure thingy, so went through the bank that owned it rather than our own bank) to see about refinancing that house to a 30 year note so that the kids could afford the payment and "take it over" per se. It would take the payments down to nearly nothing, and we could probably get home owner's insurance included in that rather than paying insurance, taxes and everything else separately in addition to the kids' house payment. The bank told Ron they'd have to do a title search and all the other stuff, of course, and that it would cost $800 up front to refinance. Screw that, you know? I think we only owe $21,000 on that little house now.

I guess the reality is that we'll end up keeping the little house on that 5 year loan, and most likely just paying it off and calling it a done deal. It's probably better that way anyway. It's just that something about it seems so wrong when our "adult" child really isn't ready to help herself yet.

And you want to know what's worse? The coffee shop forgot to put coffee in my $4 friggin' carmel latte. They also didn't stir it. I have an overly sweet $4 warm cupful of milk if anyone would like a sip? And that has nothing to do with anything else. Don't let me mislead you.

My blogging absences usually mean either I'm ill, or that I'm dealing with family issues. This time it's the latter.

You know, the thing is when you have six young people, 4 of which are "adults" and believe themselves to be "grown"...well holy sheeshkabobs.

It seems the old addage is true: when it rains it pours.

I sometimes wonder how things can go along so peaceful-like for so long, and then suddenly WHAM all the kidlets decide to be a bit off-kilter and needy all at once.

It's as if they compete to make me crazy.

You know when the kids were young I mistakenly thought that when they reached that ever-seemingly-out-of-reach adulthood that my days of childrearing anguish, angst and penny pinching would be over.

I also seemed to think they would just morph into whomever they were supposed to be when they "grew up". Where did I get THAT impression?

I was wronger-than-wrong.

So, anywhoo....most of the recent drama in my own emotional/mental status has been wrapped up in my boy, Max, the one I thought was making me proud a few weeks back.

Boy, did he get me hook, line and sinker.

Again.

I can now admit that that pride in him was again  misplaced, misguided and too trustingly given on my part.

I've always been a sucker where that kid's concerned. I don't know why. He makes me a complete dolt. I think it's because I always hold that hope that he will turn it all around and these *incidents* that seem so persistent will vanish when his manhood arrives.

So now I'm back in "oh sh*t" mode with that one.

The stepfamily drama of the moment is of course, the holidays.

My two stepsons are pictured above. The one on the left, Ryan, lives with us. The one on the right, Jr., does not. I'm increasingly grateful for that at the moment. Just don't mention that to him please. Not that it would matter as he doesn't want to like me, the wicked stepmother, anyway.

My oldest stepson, Jr, text-messaged his father to find out what time dinner is on Thanksgiving day. We were both shocked. We didn't invite him per se. It isn't that he isn't welcome, it's more than we KNOW better than to allow ourselves to bring such up to him.

We usually get our heads bit off for making Jr "feel guilty" if we dare to suggest he should be present for any event of our making, or that it might be slightly important to us in any way to have the family "together". Jr has taught us well that he will make our lives a living hell, in addition to making a scene if it is insinuated in any way that he should spend some time with this end of the family. You know, cuz it's all about HIM, so he feels ENTITLED to rip our heads off, stuff them down our throats and malign us for daring to want more time with him. I mean really. How dare we?

So, as it goes with kids, young people, alien life forms, or any incomprehensible being, we finally get "with" the program that Jr appears to want/demand, and we don't invite him to a holiday dinner, nor do we mention such to him, and *poof* we find out by text message that he's planning to attend.

How exactly does that work???? I'm stupified.

That child has gotten edgy since he hit the 18 marker. (Oh, and a little parental-alienation on his mother's part has gone a long way as well.) With that one we're basically attacked by saying anything more than hi or bye to the kid, so it's easiest to say nothing and expect just as much.

It wasn't to be though, not this time.

So, right after Jr texts asking not if he should come, not if he could come, or even if his lovely self is invited. Instead his text simply demanded: "What time is dinner on Thanksgiving?"

Yeah, cuz he's entitled to that. Don'tcha just LOVE what our little spawnings are entitled to from us?

Ron dutifully picks my brain for a "time" (umm, when the red button pops out of the turkey?) and guestimates noon. He sends the same said to Jr. via text message.

Does this mean if all the food isn't on the table and the button hasn't magically popped out of the turkey "on time" that Jr now has another excuse to be mad at me (cuz ya know it's the woman's job to cook) for "screwing up" his day or "wasting his time"? He won't blame his dad if his dad doesn't crawl out of bed at inth-thirty to put the damn poultry on, no, it'll be MY fault for being the one who DID drag herself out of bed on a day off. I find that impending accusation completely unfair, you know? If hes' so friggin' grown up now why doesn't HE cook the dang turkey? He's the one who wants a schedule.

The rest of us had just planned a more relaxing thing, you know, hanging out, talking, playing cards, watching football, and eating when we're hungry, and waiting until the damn button pops out of the turkey. That's when it officially becomes "Thanksgiving dinner" time. It's all on the bird.

I'm getting off track however. So, Ron sent the boy a text back that said "noon" and immediately Ron gets a reply that says: "I'm about broke".

Umm...okay????

Ron didn't respond.

I think my Ron was honestly heartbroken and hurt both. It doesn't take a genious to see where that particular text reply was leading. Jr. has upped the ante and demanded ransom compensation for his having to make a guest appearance for our meal. Talk about entitlement. It sends us the message that IF he's going to grace us with himself for the holiday feast we must at minimum provide gas for him, but preferably just give him cash to reimburse him for his troubles in coming to see us. Boy, does it make ME look forward to his visit. Not.

Jr finally text messaged again yesterday asking his father if he, Jr, drove down here to grace us with his lovely self and eat more food than anyone else in the house if we would give him gas money. Ron mentioned it to me. I simply told Ron to follow his heart and do what he wants. I'm not touching that with a ten-foot-pole. That's about a booby trap for a stepmother if ever one was offered, and considering Jr is 18 and we aren't raising him, I'm not entering that mine field. That's between Ron and his son, right?

And just imagine, that's only TWO of our shared kidlets. Nice, mmm?