Blah, Blah, Blah

What was your first job?

2010-03-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

I landed my first official job, the kind that pays into social security anyway, when I was 15. It was at Happy Joe's Pizza and Ice Cream Parlor at the Blue Ridge Mall in Kansas City.

At the interview for the job I lied about my age and told them I was 16. I needed the job and the money, so my motives weren't necessarily bad in that deception. I guess back then they didn't check these things out. I'm not sure how that worked in those days. My best friend of the time interviewed the same day, and we were both hired.

The uniforms consisted of a red and white striped shirt/apron thingy, much like I've seen candy stripers wear. We also wore black caps, what I might call a golfing cap now. It's too bad there aren't any pictures as that generation's employees as we must have been quite a site. It would be fun to look back and laugh at that bit of my teen years.

The downside of a large family

2010-03-25T11:36:00.000-07:00

One of my online girlfriends replied to me yesterday: "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Christy didn't get the memo, did she, that you guys all need a break.". This was in reference to my daughter #2 having a test come back with pre-cancerous cells, and her having to go for a biopsy.

My oldest daughter is moving home with the grand. We aren't ready, nor will we be when she gets here. She's going to have to help us paint their rooms. That's all there is to it.

My son (who lives 20 hours driving-distance away presently) recently moved in with his alcoholic father, having left his arrangement of living with an older female cousin. *sigh* Oh, and the cousin whose home he left? She's wanting to speak with me tonight. I don't mind, it's just there's a lot going on right now. I'm sure she needs to give me her "side", but honestly? I'm already there. I know my child. I know his faults, I know the pros and cons of him, and I know how things go. I was honestly impressed that he lasted as long as he did in one spot. I'm sure she needs to get it out of her system though. I'm okay with that.

We don't have any *new* drama with my oldest step, Jr, and that's good. (No, I don't know who the kid is that he's holding in the picture below, but the picking of the nose part is hilarious! This was my stepson's facebook photo when I last looked.)

We had to get Ryan on a bus to Florida Tuesday morning which required all kinds of planning, packing, and forms out the whazoo since he's travelling with his school band. His bags and things had to be inspected prior to being loaded. It's amazing what school kids go through as a "norm" in today's world, mmm?

Ben? Ah, he's at a great age. That said...well...he waited until we were walking out the door this morning to tell me he couldn't find his fraction flash cards, needed lunch money, and I don't remember what the last thing was...we were literally stepping out the door while he was pulling things from the nether-regions of his book bag. Oh, and I picked him up at the park yesterday. He'd "found" his girlfriend. It's a long 2nd grade story, but basically this round be-freckled girl of no hair asked Ben "out" during the fair in August 2009. He said yes, they rode together one night, and hadn't seen one another since. Until yesterday afternoon.

This is life with 6 kids. I've come to that conclusion. There is NEVER going to be a slow, dull, or otherwise insignificant moment because now the kidlets are multiplying! And their husbands and children now impact us too, don't they? And when one has that many I guess life can simply NEVER be dull, someone will always need something, something will always need planned, and someone will need mama in their corner. It's just as it is.

I sometimes wonder what life will be like for the Jolie-Pitt kids when they're grown and start out in the world. I can't imagine having kids all across the world as having them scattered in the US is difficult enough.

This isn't a great time for travel

2010-03-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

My oldest daughter has been delayed by snow. They had to rent a hotel in Wyoming as the roads closed. She hopes to arrive sometime today, but I suspect if she does it will be quite late.

My granddaughter's 3rd birthday is Saturday, and we'd hoped to celebrate in the park. I think it's going to rain though.

American Idol

2010-03-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else watching? I'm loving Crystal Bowersox for the win, what do you think?

Saturday's Snow

2010-03-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

This is my guys digging my car out on Saturday mid-morning. We ended up with 6-9 inches total. What was strange about it was we had 70 degree weather on Friday, snow Saturday, and today it's back to 60 degrees!

Weekend endings and week beginnings

2010-03-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Ryan's school band left this morning for their national orchestra competition at Disney. I know Ryan had to be pretty excited about going as it gets him out of regular classes for an entire week, and what kid doesn't want to go to Disney with all his buds and not his parents?

I think Mom is doing okay, and is starting to adjust to not having dad. It's still hard, but maybe it's less dramatic and emotional as the first few weeks. We're doing our best of course to make sure she knows she's very much needed, wanted, loved, and involved in family life with or without dad. It's really all I know to do; call her frequently, communicate much, invite her out and about, and hope that she doesn't ever get too lonely..this until more time passes and this somehow seems and feels normal for all of us.

Ryan took Mom driving around Friday after school. We took Mom out for chinese Friday night, then on to see Alice In Wonderland in 3D. She said she really enjoyed it. I'm pleased as ticket prices to a 3D movie are absolutely incredible, aren't they? I think it ended up being about $14 per person. Saturday it snowed so we didn't get out much other than for Ryan to go shovel Mom's drive and sidewalk. Sunday I don't remember what we did at that point. Oh yeah, we had dinner with Mom at Denny's.

Last night we had dinner with Mom at our house. She didn't feel like going up to hear Ryan's going-away concert, and that was alright. (I half wonder if that's another hurdle to pass for her, going to these events alone/without dad.)

Mom tires earlier these days than she used to. I'm sure it's due in part to getting her diabetes under control and figured out. Mom's blood sugar was still 116 Friday, down to 91 Saturday, then back up to 121 or 125 on Sunday. While this is still much better than the 269 she was diagnosed at, and even some of her sugar readings of last week, it needs to be stable and not fluctuate so greatly. Mom's nutrition class is this week, so maybe she'll learn something that will help.

Mom is keeping Ben before and after school this week since Ryan is out-of-town. I think that while I wouldn't want it to be habitual as I wouldn't want to use my mother you know, for only four days it's probably an okay thing. It's only 30 minutes in the a.m. and two hours in the evening.

My oldest and granddaughter are now scheduled to be at my home Thursday before I get off work. We are definitely NOT going to have the room ready. There's just too much that needs done, and as of yet I don't know how Ron is going to move that heavy carpet without Ryan. I'm hoping my son-in-law, Drew, will come through for us tonight or tomorrow. I've been asking Drew and Christy to stop in and lend a hand to help us get it together for Cass and my grand. I'm almost in panic mode. Ah well. Originally Cass wasn't supposed to arrive until after April 1st, then it kept getting moved up, and now I find out it'll be even sooner. The way things are going I don't know if I'll be shocked if they show up tomorrow instead of Thursday, and we REALLY need tonight and tomorrow night to try to finish up that room.

Oh, yesterday one of my specialists called and cancelled my appointment at 8:30 a.m. My appointment was at 2 p.m.. You know if I pulled something like that as a patient I'd be financially penalized. I don't see why the same shouldn't be true in reverse. My time is valuable too, particuarly when I have to take a day off work and drive nearly 5 hours to see said specialist.

I did go up for my rheumatology appointment. They wouldn't give me another cortisone injection in the shoulder yet, but will do so in April. I guess they have to be spaced aways apart. He stated since that shoulder has started bothering me again so quickly, and I'm now getting shooting pains down that arm, that he suspects it isn't really something he can help with, but that I need to see a nerve specialist for that arm. *sigh* He said it sounds like the beginning of carpel tunnell. Peachy. I think I'll just blow it off and deal with it when I have to as I'm NOT adding any additional specialists in at this point. I had been hoping to be nearly done with all of this crap. He did give me a 3 month prescription of something for the nerves to tide me over until I see a nerve specialist, but I'm honestly wary of taking it. I dunno. I have to think on it for awhile.

Oh, I do not have rheumatoid arthritis, thankfully. I DO have osteoarthritis, and it's worst in my hands at this point. (DUH. How much do we pay these people to tell us things like this?) Oh, and some bursitis. I have another injection coming in April from the rheumatologist. I'm hoping to be done with him after that.

It was snowing non-stop all day yesterday, and this morning it

2010-03-21T15:31:00.000-07:00

It was snowing non-stop all day yesterday, and this morning it was sleeting and raining off and on. For the moment it appears to have stopped. Ron measured 9 inches of snow on the hood of our truck.

Ryan has gone over to dig mom out this morning. She won't get out when there's any sort of snow or ice, so maybe if Ryan gets her shovelled out she'll feel free to roam about the world again.

Mom did mention to me yesterday that she'd like us to install a hand rail down her two front porch steps, and I told her we'd check into it. I think we could do some measuring and find either a nice pvc hand railing or wrought iron. I think the going trend is PVC. The porch railing is white pvc, so we'll need to find something that matches well.

She'd also like a small handrail built for her one or two deck stairs. Ryan will probably handle the latter since he's been in woodshop for two years now and loves building with wood.

Ryan is Mom's little buddy. She picked him up after school Friday and had him drive her around in dad's big truck to take the recycling out to the recycling plant both for herself, and for one of her friends, and then to take her shopping, then on to her friend's house. She had Ryan take down her friend's Christmas lights while they were there. Ryan does a lot of little odd jobs for Mom and her friends, and it seems to be a good working relationship for all of them. Mom is very proud of having Ryan to chauffer her about.

Mom's still doing pretty well, and talks a lot about things she still needs to get done due to dad's death. She's planning a garage sale in our City Wide event April 24th, and she surely has a lot to put into it. I think she intends to sell some of dad's books, and maybe some of his clothes. My oldest sis mentioned coming down for that, and I kind of hope she'll help Mom some with set-up and clean-up as while Mom loves having garage sales, they're a little bit of a pain to organize and tear down. It will be even more so without dad's help this time. I wouldn't mind some sibling assistance on this one as I've been doing it with Mom for the past 3 years, twice annually, and would love someone else to jump in on that one. It gets particuarly challenging if it chooses to rain, drizzle or sleet on those dates, KWIM? Mom makes about $200 each time she has a sale, and all her girlfriends stop by so it's a big social thing for her, but it's also a ton of work.

I'm really proud of all Mom accomplished Friday. Dad's life insurance monies finally came Thursday night (Mom's mail doesn't arrive until 5 p.m., well after the bank closes). Mom took my advice and not only paid off dad's funeral arrangements, but went ahead and pre-paid for her own so it'll be just as she wants it. She told me where she put the certificate/papers so if the time comes I'll know where to find that information.

She then went and paid off her car (in full!), and US Bank didn't charge her any penalties for having done so. After all of that she was left with $100 to deposit into her local bank account.

Mom still has a few things left to tidy up, like the car titles and removing dad's name from them. She also needs to contact dad's cell provider and have that disconnected, and the minutes transferred to her cell phone. She's put that off as she says when she calls it seems the call goes to India and the translation is often difficult for her. She said she always ends up on the phone with them 2-3 hours when she calls, but she'll try to take care of that on Monday. She uses Tracphone rather than a regular cell plan, and it makes it a little more difficult that a standard provider. Dad's phone contract is up in May, and he has nearly 2000 minutes on his cell. Mom is hoping they'll cancel his plan and let her keep all the minutes they paid for. I really don't know how it works with one of those pay-as-you-go plans.

Mom will next need to go to the Title Company to provide a death certificate and remove dad's name from the house title, and I think she has that slotted for this next week as well.

I think she has a bank account in KC to resolve still, but she's waiting on that one until she hears as to when the KC house is sold. The utility bills for that house come direct withdrawal out of her KC account, and the utilities are all in dad's name. Due to that she's hestitant to muck with that account until the house is sold.

Today's dilemma with the KC house was getting the driveway cleared of snow when we're two hours away. Uncle called me to inquire as to who normally handled this for the folks. I knew who it was, but didn't know how to contact him. So, I called Mom, who then called the guy to clear the driveway. Thankfully he agreed to allow Mom to mail him a check for the service, and he got it cleaned off within an hour of her call. We needed it taken care of quickly as Uncle was showing the house again today.

The selling of the house via Craig's List is looking positive. The young couple who looked at it the other day wanted to see it again today, and I would presume they'd bring their parents along this time. They said they have two large dogs, and were thrilled with the huge yard that comes with the house. They were also excited about the 3 sheds and two car garage. I had thought the big lot and all the out-buildings might be a good selling point.

She also has some CD's in a Harrisonville bank that she needs to do something with, but those are hers so it shouldn't be a big issue other than seeing if they need to be rolled over, maybe moving them closer to home, and updating her beneficiaries.

After all of this is finally resolved she plans to have a new will drawn up using a local attorney, then filed with the local courts to make things easier. We expect a family drama like none other when that time arrives, and Mom doesn't want people arguing or picking through her things. I can imagine since my Uncle is the executor dad chose (and Mom intends to keep) that he'll keep things in hand. I hope so anyway. His daughter, my cousin, is his second if he's unable, and I know she's no-nonsense and won't put up with anything. I think having someone other than Mom's children handle the estate is a good idea. It should keep down the squabbling and nonsense.

Hopefully when Mom's time comes my sister, brother and niece won't feel the need to sit on the very back row of the chapel "for closure" during Mom's services. What a time to make a public display/statement, you know? My brother in particular hadn't spoken to or visited mom in 11 years, so the first time she sees him in all that time that's how he chose to behave, you know? The sis who sat with him, my online stalker, claimed to not have Mom's phone number here in Podunk, and mom had moved 4 years ago. Mom and Dad are listed in the white pages, so finding said number wouldn't have been difficult. An internet seach at whitepages.com or a call to 411 would have given the number to her easy enough. I guess that was her excuse for not having called in the past 4 years, the lack of phone number access, though she had emailed mom on occasion and could have asked for it at any time. Oh well.

That behavior via my siblings at dad's service was so embarassing to mom as many of her local friends noticed (since Mom had introduced them in the greeting line) and they didn't understand her children treating Mom that way at dad's service. Mom's best friend, Rhetta, keeps re-assuring Mom that maybe not too many people noticed. I don't know. I think it was noticed by many in all honesty, but I won't ever say such to Mom. I know all the Uncles asked me about it, as if know why they'd behave as they did. Whatever my siblings feelings were toward the deceased, there was no need to hurt the living, you know? But, it is what it is. Families are complicated units.

Mom won't ever say anything to my sis about the way she acted at dad's service as Mom likes to keep the peace, but to be treated that way by her children when she was going through this huge personal loss did hurt her unreasonably. (It never ceases to amaze me how people can twist something and make an event such as this about THEM and in about gaining attention to their cause rather than leaving the focus to where it was intended, such as compassion for those who are hurting and mourning their loss. In a way their back-pew behavior at dad's service reminds me much of that Baptist church that's gotten famous for picketing soldier's funerals. How disrespectful, hurtful, and lacking in compassion can a group be, you know? Funerals are really more of a rite-of-passage ritual for the living, wouldn't you say? )In my opinion the fact that dad was dead should have been enough for them without putting on some public display, but whatever. People do as the will without regard to how it affects everyone else. I know that behavior hurt my dad's brothers feelings in addition to hurting mom's since they were close to dad and mourning their loss. I doubt the sibs thought about how their behavior impacted the living, I imagine they only wanted one last act of revenge toward dad.

Mom is hopeful that some of those angsts that appeared at Dad's service are now mending as she's been hearing from my sisters about once a week in recent days, and the back-pew sitter sister told her she'd be down to visit again on an upcoming weekend. Mom's wary as to why she's suddenly taken an interest in her (the same as I'm wary of her sudden interest in my blog) but for Mom's sake I hope the re-newed interest in Mom is a positive attempt to re-connect so that the family relationship gets resolved to something more "normal" in upcoming years. Hopefully prior to Mom's passing. Maybe we'll get lucky and Mom will live to age 93 like her own mother did. That should leave plenty of time to mend those very barbed fences.

I hate getting on this topic, but with all mom is STILL dealing with and going through in settling things it's never far from our minds. Everything is different with dad gone. The things that dad handled Mom is now getting figured out. She had to have a car tire fixed last week, and that's the first time in years she's ever had to do such a thing. It wasn't a big deal, just another one of those things, a change in what-was normal versus what life is now for Mom.

I check on Mom repeatedly through each day since she's alone. I don't want her to pass quietly like dad did and then not be found. *shudder* I suppose it's one of my own reactions to all of this that I need to work through. I think going over after Mom called because she couldn't wake dad up haunts me some.

I couldn't wake him up either, you know? His pulse was gone by that time. His lips were already turning blue. I knew the moment I saw him that it was too late to do anything even though I'd hoped otherwise. I'd never imagined finding my father dead.

Sitting there waiting for 911 to arrive, meeting them at the door to tell them they were too late, that dad was gone, and then sitting with dad while waiting on the coroner and while Mom filled out papers and dad's medical information...well, it was surreal.

I'm a little jumpy now if Mom doesn't answer the phone. That's twice now that I've had to sit with a loved one when they passed, and I sincerely hope to not have to do so again, though I imagine that's my job if or when Mom passes since I'm the one here to take care of her. It makes me anxious. I can do it, yes, but hopefully not too soon.

Mom's blood pressure, btw, has gone back to normal without the medications. She told me she doesn't plan to go on the blood pressure meds, and will talk with her doc on this at the next visit. She checks her pressure every morning, and now that she isn't on the bronchitis meds and the stress is winding down it's been within normal limits during the past week.

Mom's blood sugar is still high. It was 231 yesterday, which is down from the 269 when first diagnosed, but still not great. Mom is scheduled for a diabetic nutrition class at the hospital this upcoming week. I'm glad she enrolled in it as dad would never take them.

I need to remind Mom to send dad's military discharge papers into social security. They said it might make a difference as he'd have six more years attached to his employment earnings if she did so. I'll have to ask if she's done that yet.

I'm guessing when all is said and done all of these changes might be wrapped up in about six months or so, and maybe at that time life will flow more normally once again. We're still hashing out a new "normal". I feel guilty with having left Mom sitting home alone yesterday and today due to snow, and due to our need to get that room ready for my daughter & granddaughter, and in getting Ryan packed for his big trip.

We're still working on framing in the windows in the spare bedroom for my daughter. It's a challenge as the house was built in 1918, so there are layers of lathe and plaster under the sheetrock. This means that from the house frame in there's several layers to be built up just to get level with the inner sheetrocked walls. It's slow going.

Once all the underlayers around the window edges are re-built we'll be able to build the window frames, trim it out, etc. It's a long process to get to prior to painting and carpet. Prepping this room isn't a matter of a fresh coat of paint and a vacuum, you know?

I'm beginning to think that we won't have the painting done prior to Cassie's arrival. We'll get the new carpet laid by sheer determination, but it will have to be done on a weeknight. We have two rolls of new carpet in Mom and Dad's storage unit, and Mom's been after us to get them moved out anyway as she's turning the storage unit holding my grandmother's old car over to one of my Uncles. Dad would have wanted him to have the car. I think it's a 1950's Ford Fairlane. Don't quote me on that, but irregardless it's meant to stay in dad's family, which means we need to get the carpet out of the way anyway.

I don't know yet where we'll store the 2nd role of carpet yet as we only need one of them for the bedroom. The second role was meant for the master bedroom which we aren't ready to tackle yet, particuarly not when we're working on these two other rooms for the daughter and grand.

This was one of our spring projects anyway, it just had to be stepped up quicker due to my son-in-law's deployment. I would venture to guess my daughter has no idea how hard Ron is working to get everything prepped for her, and I suspect we still won't quite make the mark. *sigh* It really does need some paint as when her brother, Max, moved out of it he left the white walls somewhat grungy. He was sneaking cigarettes and wasn't tidy in his sneakings.

She and my granddaughter should both arrive by Friday, and we still have soooo much to do. I'm dreading moving my computer back to the corner of the dining room. *sigh* It makes things feel so cramped in there. It's only for 6 months though, right?

Speaking of my son, Max, he's moving again. He called to tell me this yesterday. This time he's moving into some other relative's trailer with his dad, and I don't know how that will go. My understanding is they won't have to pay rent, only utilities, so maybe it'll go okay.

The ex is still fighting his alcohol demons. He's been out of work for about two years now, and recently the VA sent him to college for re-training since he didn't qualify for disability like he'd hoped. I think since he's taking classes maybe he's doing better with his drinking and pot addictions, but I don't know for certain. I have concerns considering he'd recently suggested (to the cousin Max was living with) that they should be giving Max pot to help him sleep at night (instead of prescription meds), but since my son is 18 I have no say in matters. I can only listen and hope for the best for my son.

In the midst of all of the above we've been getting Ryan packed and ready for his trip to Florida. He's going to a competition at Disney with the school band, and leaves early Tuesday morning. We had to go to the bank yesterday to activate his credit/debit card that's attached to his savings account. We hadn't done prior to now as you can imagine that at 15 he isn't great about keeping money in his bank account anyway, but for this we thought it was best he didn't tote nearly $300 in his wallet. I'm guessing the boy will come home broke, but we'll see how it goes.

It was $720 for the trip, and another $59 for food during the trip (all pre-purchased and arrange through the school), but then one of his hotel roommates backed out and we had to buck up yet another $75 at the last minute. Oh, and of course he had to be packed, have travel-toiletries, and permission slips galore. I think it's a great opportunity for him, but this trip combined with my daughter's wedding has made for an expensive month.

To add insult to injury the HS sent out the kids class ring orders, and of course it's time for Ryan to have his. I had to have that with the $70 down-payment in by Friday. Go figure.

Need I mention that his mom did not contribute to any of the above? She did finally mail Ryan $40 for spending monies for his trip. Ryan is hoping to bring back a souvenier for his niece and two nephews, but with things as expensive as I know they are at Disney, I don't know what luck he'll have. I'm a bit disgruntled that he doesn't want to take a camera with him. He said he'll just take pics with his cell phone. *sigh* Boys.

My trip to KU in KC is tomorrow. I have appointments with two specialists the same day, and had to take off work again. I'm hoping my appointments will begin to lessen from here.

I believe I'm nearly done with the rheumatologist, though I plan to ask him for one more shot in my shoulder, and one for my elbow tomorrow to fix the bursitis he found last time. One injection in under each knee cap seems to have cured my knees. He said one injection is often all that's needed to carry you for a few years. My shoulder is sore again though, so maybe a 2nd one will put it to rights.

Did I mention they discovered during my last round of tests that the achiness and fatigue I still have was due to a Vitamin D deficiency? They put me on 50,000 mg of Vitamin D weekly for 6 months. I've been on it a month now, and I feel as if I'm already picking up and feeling better. I'm not nearly as tired, and I don't wake up stiff and achey like I did for so long. I guess this Vitamin D is some serious stuff. I would never have guessed something a simple as this could make a person feel so bad.

I was nearly bottomed out according to the test counts, so I'm lucky I didn't have a heart attack or something. They said it was surprising that I hadn't been breaking bones as that kind of deficiency causes bones to become brittle and break at little more than a bump. I'd been bruising easily, but I'm lucky it didn't get any worse than that and severe aches.

I guess the next question is going to be WHY I had the Vitamin D deficiency. It's one thing to know what's wrong, but after fixing that, one has to figure out the underlying contribution to the problem. My vitamin D levels are going to have to be watched and re-tested periodically for awhile to see if this deficiency was only due to treatment, or if it's something other. One's liver is what stores and metabolizes Vitamin D for the body, so the question now remaining is whether or not my liver is still doing such, or able to do such. I don't yet know which specialist I'll be following up on for that. I have to re-test those levels in 3 months, then again at 6 months when I end these high doseages, then again at 9 months to see if I'm still maintaining or if I'm dropping again. *sigh* I really want this to all be over as I'm tired of mucking around with this never-ending saga.

Time schedule for the daughter's arrival has moved up

2010-03-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

My beautiful daughter:

My oldest daughter called me last night. She was very pleasant and upbeat. It turns out that her Father-in-law is going to arrive in Utah on Tuesday night I think, and she believes that they'll be able to hit the road Wed. night or Thursday a.m. This means that she and the grandbaby will be at my home with the U-Haul on Friday, or a week from today!

Ron and I have a LOT of work to get done. The study will be my granddaughter's room, the empty bedroom that is currently storage will be my daughter's bedroom. They have a connecting door, so that will work out well for them I think. We have to sheetrock below the new windows we put in (the old windows were 3 foot by 7 foot, the new ones are 3 foot by 5 foot), mud, putty, sand, paint, and re-carpet the one room. All before next weekend. It's frightening really.

Mom seemed chipper the 3x or more that we talked yesterday. I often wonder how the nights are for her. I can't imagine after 50 years of marriage what it must be like to have a constantly empty home. Mom confided to me last night that she still has her moments, and now during the night she lines pillows down dad's side of the bed so that it feels like someone is there. My heart goes out to her on that one, but this is one of those things in life that one must go through and can't really be fixed. And while I feel for her greatly there's nothing I could do at the time when we found dad passed, and there's nothing I can do for her now to make every moment better. I can't completely stave off that loneliness that creeps in. I try, but I know a daughter and a husband hardly compare when it comes to comfort, compatibility, and what personal stuff one shares.

That aside, my Uncle had called me hunting Mom last night as he had someone who wanted to walk through the KC house (Mom has it for sale by owner at the moment) and they had some questions about square footage, where the lateral lines are, and other such stuff that only Mom would know. I had already spoken to mom on the way to work, then again on the way home, that seems to be our routine now, but when I called her again she didn't answer. She did start worrying me for a bit. It turns out she had gone to her friends' house, the friend who lives just behind me honestly, and had I yelled across my back yard loud enough I might have gotten Mom's attention. Too funny, huh?

I am glad Mom has so many local friends. Did I mention 165 folks attended a viewing or the service for my father? I'm also glad they did get to move "down home" for their retirement like they wanted to. That's honestly the primary reason Ron and I moved here to Podunk, so that Mom & Dad would be able to "move home" upon retirement, and so that we would be nearby to care for them as they aged.

Since of their children Ron and I were the only ones reguarly meeting with the folks, checking on them most mornings (I used to stop and check on them, grab coffee, then head on down to the college in downtown KC 5 days per week), we went over every weekend, we mowed for them, laid their patio, repaired a few things around their KC house, and did this kind of stuff for many years, we came to assume we'd always be the ones alotted their primary assisting support as they aged. And so that's how it's gone, though I must say I never expected dad to pass so young.

Anyway, the plan had been in the works for awhile between the folks and ourselves to move here to podunk together, but had mainly been a pipe-dream for a long time. Reality knocked though. Ron was permanently laid off from his job of 10+ years when the plant shut down operation in April 2002, and we were at a crossroads as to what to do. He did go to school and earn a degree in HVAC, but when he graduated from that in Dec '02 there still wasn't a lot of promise. The economy wasn't going great even then.

Ron was also having some difficulty with his ex wife moving to a house just a few blocks from our home, and then with her behaviors in showing up at our home unannounced, calling at all hours, showing up at our door if we didn't immediately answer the phone, and it was honestly awkward for us (as newly weds married in 2000) to have her constantly keeping tabs on our every move. She tended to show up at even my biological kids' events if she knew Ron would be there, she'd show up at the same eating places, movies or stores if she spotted our car there, or if the boys tipped her off that we would be there. KC is NOT such a small town where one constantly runs into another. A few times here and there would have been understood, but it began to get way too frequent for comfort. We knew we wanted a bit more distance. We married in 2000, had Ben in 2001, and had really hoped for more privacy from the ex's than was allowed even in 2002. We put up with it until 2004, then decided it was time to move.

In addition to Ron's ex, my own had started showing up randomly, unnannounced, often drunk, and was trying to convince my son to live with him so he wouldn't have to pay child support. I did try working with him as much as possible, but when he was in an auto accident while drinking and driving one Saturday a.m. (yes, with Max in the car with him) I had to nix encouraging those plans. It didn't go well, and he began a harassment campaign of his own. We had two ex's showing up randomly and interfering, and it was miserable.

Then came the big blow: my son Max got arrested at the prime age of 10 for taking his ADHD meds to school and passing them out to other kids as Esctacy (I dunno how it's spelled). That he even KNEW about that kind of street drug in 5th grade was frightening enough, and it was not something he learned at home. That's when Ron and I really decided to step things up.

And so we went. We looked for a home, and the folks looked with us as they knew the area down here better than we did. We moved here to Podunk in April 2004. The folks bought their house in 2005, then followed with a full time move when they retired in 2006. We have no regrets. It's been a peaceful and positive change of environments. I only wish dad could have enjoyed it longer, you know?

Hello St. Luke's!!!

2010-03-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

Logging in from work during the wee hours of this morning: St. Luke's Shawnee Mission Hospital with the keyword searches of: dean and boss. How shocking, mmm? And here's my reply to such continued antics: I'm not falling for the psychological games any further. It's no longer intimidating for someone to use those particular search phrases as a veiled or implied threat that that person might want to talk with my boss or dean about me. I'm at I don't givva dagnab, and there is absolutely NOTHING you could say to either person that would impact my job, work performance, position or salary. BTW, my dean, in particular, encourages the library staff to blog and write. Content isn't audited at this point, though I'm certain he'd prefer it be more literary than what I'm currently putting out.

Honestly I don't know why I was worried about those keyword searches. I think I was under to much stress to think straight there for a bit. With doc appointments, sick beings to care for, wedding planning, and dad's death....well, it was just too much at once. Add in beloved people who slander me, talk behind my back, stalk my blog, and mean me no goodwill at all, and it's a heavy emotional load to carry, but only for a moment, mmm?

Anyway, I presume this newest ISP to be Sis #2 in consideration that it came around midnight-1 a.m. this morning, she's a nurse, and Mom told me she'd gone to the night shift. I don't know for certain of course, it just seems like a reasonable assumption. I have gone from one blog hit per year in the KC area to over 400+ hits from that same area since December. It isn't coincidental. I must say though, I'm quite glad I don't use that particular medical facility as I suspect that if I did my HIPPA rights would most certainly be violated.

It kind of makes one think about how terrible it must be for celebrities who deal with media and all kinds of folks out there to "catch" them doing one thing wrong, saying one thing wrong, or who sell off their medical privacy to tabloids. I'm not famous and have only the one sis and the niece bothering me. I can't imagine what it must be like in that other world, to have hordes following about, invading, slandering, and I can only imagine the level of emotional attack those poor celebrity-folks must be under. I think for the first time I comprehend why so many of them appear to have major breakdowns along the way.

Host Name edcinetv180.saint-lukes.org

IP Address 208.188.113.180

Country United States

Region Missouri

City Kansas City

ISP St Lukes Shawnee Mission

Visit Length 44 mins 2 secs

This weekend should be a busy one!

2010-03-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

My oldest called this morning to tell me that she expects to be in Lamar on March 27th. This means that Ron and I have basically this weekend to get those two rooms ready for her and the grandbaby! I wanted to repaint both rooms, one of them in pink and purple for the grandbaby, but I don't know that it will happen at this point. My granddaughter might have to reside in a blue room as that's the color it was when her Uncle Max lived in there, and that's what it's stayed as our office space. I hope I can make it more inviting for her though as I think my grandbaby's adjustment to all the changes will happen faster if she's comfortable and happy in her space, mmm? I told my daughter that these few months will just fly by, but I don't think she believes me.

I guess my grandsons are going to the doctor today. I thought they had an appointment yesterday, but I guess she was only calling the doc to see if they'd get the babies in. Hopefully Dayton doesn't have this bronchitis the rest of us have been battling. It's some wicked stuff.

We had dinner w/my mom last night. Ron believes we need to step up on spending time with her on weeknights. I call Mom 2-3x daily, never less than 2, so I don't know that I'm as worried as he is. Mom tries to stay "up", she tries to stay in good spirits, and she generally tells me what she's doing every day, who called her lately, what plans she has for the future, and just every little thing. She tells me about her quilting friends, her local comrads, and what bills or bank statements she's dealt with or what she's working on with dad's accounts. She's doing very well with those, btw. I'm proud of her.

Ron thinks that Mom is starting to withdraw a little. I'm reserving my opinion until I have more proof of that. It's normal to be down on occasion when one loses one's spouse, and I don't know that she's withdrawing. I think the adjustment is simply difficult. Ron does see her on occasion where she's tired or bummed, but since I also speak to her in the mornings I know for a fact she isn't that way ALL the time. I do know she's a little spacier at moments, but that comes from being overwhelmed and working through it. I'm also aware that she's pulled away a little bit, but some of that is because she doesn't want to inflict herself on us or be a burden. She isn't, but no matter how many times I tell her such I know she worries that we need a break from her.

Mom told me that she's heard from both of my sisters this week, and from one of her grandsons (not mine). The communications she's been receiving from that lot of late has increased dramatically in the past two weeks. Mom isn't certain what to think of that and she's a little wary, but she's enjoying it nonetheless. It probably doesn't hurt that mom initiated said communications a coupla weeks ago when she called to get my sister's social security numbers to add them as beneficiaries to her Thrift Savings Plan.

Mom recently gave said calling grandson 3 guns she had at her house (I don't know why she's giving things away, but whatever) and grandson called to tell her he'd done some research, and one was from the 1800's. He's a country boy with a policeman daddy and a hunting lifestyle. I have no doubt he'll care for the guns well.

Sis 2 called to tell mom she'd changed work shifts and wouldn't be able to get down to see her this week after all. Mom told me she expects that interest will fade out altogether in time given that the same sis had only been down 1x in the past 4 years prior to dad's death. I dunno. I't's one of those wait and see things. I guess in the meantime she'll content herself with reading my blog for any updates. Last night & this mornings keyword searches from her ISP were bipolar and boss. I'm past the anxiety and don't much care what her searches are at this point. I think my anxiety levels had more to do with the aftermath of dad's passing and the wedding. I feel pretty cool about things now.

My next doc appointment is Monday of next week...Did I ever tell you the results of the last one? I'll have to update one of these days.